you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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