What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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