No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
