i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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