I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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