Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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