The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
