The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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