low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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