The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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