i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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