Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
