did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
