ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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