oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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