come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
my liver is dry heaving
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
