listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
