I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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