Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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