their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
