Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Shame - the story of my life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
