Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
