I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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