I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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