actually, I'm a sock model
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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