i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
