I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
