You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Randomize
