he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
