Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
