U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
