Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
