So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Alive.
So much puke
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
