in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
