you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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