I need to stop coming to work sober
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?