if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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