At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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