those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
