I want to stick my p in your. b.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
