Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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