went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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