Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
