Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
