I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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