New invention idea: vibrating tampons
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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