wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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