that's an acceptable place to lick
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
