I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
