I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I need a beard to bite.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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