Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
