you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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