five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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