Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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