the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
