Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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