The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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