Do you still have your period?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize