we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
